Archive
The Daily Dozen
Tuesday, October 27. The 12 best stories of the day, so you can stop scrolling.
Man jailed for using robot vacuum to record his cheating wife
The smart home finally found its true purpose and it was a crime. Lesson: your Roomba sees everything, and the courts don't love that either.
Montreal fugitive pauses life on the run to get his pet raccoon vaccinated
Fugitive, yes. Irresponsible pet owner, never. You have to respect someone who prioritizes the raccoon's shots over his own freedom. The raccoon is the only one in this story with a clean record.
'Blade Runners' allegedly wreck Devon traffic sensors they think are assault weapons
The ULEZ camera vandals have discovered traffic lights and it's going about as well as you'd expect. Bold of them to name themselves after a movie about not knowing what's real.
Blind, drunk, unlicensed man drove 150 miles down the motorway
That's a hat trick of reasons not to drive, and he went for all three. Everyone else on that motorway deserves a lottery ticket for surviving.
Lime clarifies its e-bikes are 'not for jousting' after London park video
A corporation had to put 'no medieval combat' in writing, which says everything about rental e-bikes in London. Somewhere a legal team updated its terms of service with a heavy sigh.
This hideous Hawaiian shirt hides you from AI surveillance cameras
Finally, a fashion choice that makes you invisible to machines while making you extremely visible to humans. Dad-on-vacation chic as civil liberties tool.
Some young men are trimming their eyelashes to look more 'masculine'
Eyelashes exist to keep dust out of your eyes, but sure, sacrifice them to the algorithm. Masculinity has never been more fragile or more gummed up with debris.
Santa Cruz catches its second loose emu in a matter of days
One emu is an accident; two is a pattern. Santa Cruz may need to accept it has an emu situation.
Chinese entrepreneur runs salons where people pay to be gently scratched
The back-scratch economy has arrived and it's thriving. Burnout is so universal that someone monetised the one thing your mom did for free.
OnlyFans creators say Meta lets its AI sext while banning actual humans
The robots took the jobs nobody expected them to take first. Meta's content rules apparently boil down to: horny is fine, as long as it's on the company payroll.
Man rides modified motorcycle more than 25 miles across water for a Guinness record
Jet skis exist, but sure, let's make the motorcycle do it. Peak 'because I can' engineering.
That mystery 'space object' in a Minnesota cornfield may be Chinese rocket junk
Somewhere a farmer is out here harvesting corn and international orbital litter. Space is getting crowded enough that its trash now has a delivery route to the Midwest.