Today
The Daily Dozen
Friday, October 30. The 12 best stories of the day, so you can stop scrolling.
The 'Dune 3' popcorn bucket has two sandworms now, because one wasn't enough
The studio saw the internet lose its mind over one worm-shaped receptacle and decided the correct response was to double it. Commitment to the bit is the most underrated marketing strategy in Hollywood. Somewhere, a merch designer is laughing very quietly.
Vancouver's 'indestructible' toilet has been destructed
Never call anything indestructible out loud; the universe treats it as a dare. This toilet had one job, and the job was surviving. It's a humbling day for public infrastructure branding.
Woman has ribs broken to get a 'guitar hourglass' waist
Beauty standards have gone from corsets to literal orthopedics. The real villain here is the feed that made a broken ribcage look like a reasonable shortcut. Please, nobody take this as a tutorial.
Detective convicted of pulling a gun on a colleague over microwaved fish
Everyone hates the office fish microwaver, but most of us settle for a passive-aggressive sticky note. This is the most extreme escalation of a break-room feud on record. The fish, technically, was the only victim already dead.
Army officer left his post 64 times in 10 months to feed his lizard
Sixty-four trips is less a disciplinary problem than a full custody arrangement. The military asked for commitment, and this man gave it to a reptile. Somewhere a very well-fed lizard has no idea it ended a career.
Hackers attack a hospital, apologize, then offer patients $2,500 each
The ransomware gang with a customer service department. 'We're sorry, here's some cash, we're keeping your files' is a deeply confusing apology. Crime's conscience is apparently partial and negotiable.
Cinema chain will hypnotize you into forgetting your favorite movie
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Multiplex. It's a lovely idea, and also a fantastic way to sell you the same ticket twice. Results presumably vary, with snacks extra.
'Buildings do not have opinions': Officer cleared for flipping off a building
An actual legal body had to confirm that architecture has no feelings to hurt. It's a landmark ruling for everyone who has silently cursed their office tower on a Monday. Justice for petty gestures.
AI company can't get its $65 million in bitcoin back from an exchange nobody's heard of
Two buzzwords walked into a bar and neither could find the exit. Four months is a long time to keep hitting refresh on a withdrawal page. Maybe pick an exchange with a Wikipedia entry next time.
A Kentucky humanist just got a religious exemption from AI
We've reached the point where opting out of the robots takes a theological argument. Funny that the first person to manage it doesn't believe in a god at all. Conscientious objection now covers chatbots.
Scientists built a robot tail to help humans balance
Evolution took our tails, and engineers want them back. Frankly, this would make stairs way more dignified. Give it a year and it'll be a wellness accessory.
'Her curls' meme is back after Kim Lip got asked about it live
The internet's favorite joke is still confidently praising something that isn't there. Asking the idol herself about it was the push it needed to come back. Six years on, the curls remain imaginary and the meme remains real.