Today
The Daily Dozen
Tuesday, November 3. The 12 best stories of the day, so you can stop scrolling.
Delivery robot runs a red light, crashes and flees the scene
We taught robots to deliver burritos and somehow they also learned hit-and-run. The injuries aren't funny, but a machine fleeing the scene is a deeply human new low for automation. Who exactly gets the ticket here?
Physicist says three lines of math kill time travel in many universes
Three lines. Hollywood spent decades and billions on time travel plots, and a physicist dunked on it on an index card. The good news: there's apparently a loophole checklist, so the dream isn't dead, just heavily footnoted.
Collins dictionary has officially been mogged
A looksmaxxing forum term is now dictionary-certified, which means your parents will start using it wrong by Christmas. The lexicographers mogged us all by getting there first. Truly, the word mogged the competition.
Virginia hawk grounded for being 'too darn fat to fly'
Not injured, not sick, just thriving a little too hard. Every one of us after the holidays understands this hawk on a spiritual level. Hope the diet plan is gentle.
Tokyo watch thief returns loot by courier, with a sorry note
The most polite crime arc imaginable: steal, regret, tracked shipping. Guilt really did the detective work here.
ChatGPT invents a Senate seat, insists it's authoritative
Confidently wrong is the chatbot's signature move, but adding legislative seats is a bold new frontier. Maybe check your ballot against an actual ballot.
Scientists spot dinosaur blood cells in a 115-million-year-old fossil
Something resembling blood survived 115 million years, while my phone can't make it through a single afternoon. The obligatory 'no, you can't have a raptor' disclaimer is doing heroic work here, and expect the 'can we clone it' crowd anyway.
Houston tears down historic mansion for a convenience store
Gilded age grandeur, replaced by taquitos and lottery tickets. Peak Houston zoning energy, honestly.
Scientists document a bull and a male donkey in a love affair
Nature has once again refused to follow the textbook. Two species, same sex, zero concern for the researchers' expectations. The donkey and bull are simply living their truth.
Scottish drug bust finds £14,000 haul and a lamb eating chips in the back seat
The drugs are the least interesting thing in this car. That lamb was living better than most of us on a Friday night.
London's Leadenhall Market is hiding three tiny shops at No. 27¼
An address with a quarter in it is already a win. A secret miniature shopping street inside a Victorian market is pure Diagon Alley energy, built for people who love to peer through tiny windows.
The suitcase Burton used to offload Liz Taylor's clothes is up for auction
Hollywood's messiest power couple, reduced to a hand-me-down luggage drop. Somebody's about to pay real money for a celebrity donation bag.