Today
The Daily Dozen
Thursday, November 5. The 12 best stories of the day, so you can stop scrolling.
Tourists strolled past 280 Ice Age engravings in a Spanish cave
Prehistoric artists made masterpieces and modern tourists responded by scratching their initials next to them without noticing. Peak humanity, both ends of it.
Tarantino and Kylie Minogue roll into a Welsh seaside town for a local's film
Imagine popping out for chips and seeing Tarantino and Kylie on the promenade. It's the kind of casting combo that sounds like a fever dream, which is honestly the most Welsh seaside energy possible.
Judge tosses charges against Harvard scientist in frog embryo smuggling case
'Frog embryo smuggler' sounds like a Bond villain who got stuck in the budget sequel. It's a relief that the full weight of federal law has finished being pointed at tiny amphibian dots in a vial.
Brazilian soccer match hands out 50 red cards, a new world record
Fifty red cards means the referee basically ejected everyone, possibly including some fans and a hot dog vendor. At that point it's not a match, it's a mass brawl with a scoreboard. Guinness should give the ref a stamina award.
Iowa Democrat quits the race, wins it anyway
The ultimate low-effort campaign strategy: simply leave. Voters apparently looked at the ballot, saw a name, and said 'that'll do.' Somewhere a campaign consultant is weeping into a stack of unused yard signs.
Tourist wins $200K after a 'fart police' translation mixup
Somewhere a translation app is quietly updating its resume. It's a reminder that one wrong word abroad can turn a vacation into a courtroom drama. Two hundred grand is a lot of money to say 'that's not what I meant.'
An AI Among Us video singing 'little, little, little' has become brainrot gospel
Nobody asked for an orange bean to get sentimental, and yet here we are, emotionally wrecked and humming. The original creator deleted their account, which is the most dignified thing anyone has done in this saga.
NASA apparently wants Nathan Fielder's new film on the space station
Astronauts trapped in a tin can with Nathan Fielder's brand of excruciating awkwardness is either a morale boost or a psych experiment. Honestly, it sounds like an episode he'd make.
A TikToker dressed as Call of Duty's Ghost is granting everyone 'permission to cry, soldier'
Peak modern masculinity: you may weep, but only once a skull-masked commando signs off on it. The fact that the viral tearjerker was AI slop makes it even more 2026. Request granted, carry on.
Sam Altman does the chatbot apology after his RAM take backfires
Telling gamers and PC builders they should have less RAM is a bold way to find out who your enemies are. The walkback reads exactly like his product: confidently wrong, then deeply sorry for the confusion.
Nearly 27,000 men contributed to science's biggest tight-underwear study
Boxers vs. briefs has finally gotten the huge sample size it always deserved. Somewhere, a grad student has spent a very long time thinking about waistbands.
UK police insist their helicopter did not draw a penis in the sky on purpose
Nobody has ever believed this explanation from a teenager with a Sharpie, and we're not sure the police get special treatment. Still, accidental sky art is the most British possible way to go viral.